vanehwasreal:

i aM FUCKING HOWLING WITH LAUGHTER

"at my school the cop from DARE passed around 3 joints to show everyone and he said "if i dont get all three of these back this schools getting locked down and everyones getting searched till i find it.." and like 30 minutes later when everyone got to see ‘em and they got passed back the cop had 4"

(via brilliantbucky)

shutupimscrolling:

welcome to tumblr

(via officialwhitegirls)

theatrefetish:

you know what upsets me

bunnies have tons of sex

like supposedly always humping right

but does that affect how we look at bunnies?

no

do we still think bunnies are cute af?

yes

do we want bunnies any less because of their sex habits?

no

treat people like bunnies ok

this has been a psa

(via sorry)

sex-thrill:

my blog will make you horny ;)

foreverpheebs:

Matthew Perry’s wonderfulness appreciation post. 

(via frie-nds)

(Source: endofdayz, via burrito-kindgom)

noablaespanol:

HE JUST GOES ALONG WITH IT

(Source: lord-stark, via brilliantbucky)

datpastaasylum:

dinoduckqueen:

hawkules:

imagine a video game where you create a hero whose destiny is to save everyone, but throughout the game you start making harder and more questionable decisions, and the game gets darker and darker. and in the end you’re just standing there, clutching the controller and finally realizing you were playing the villain all along

fuck

FUCK

FUCK

I WANT

(via burrito-kindgom)

muirin007:

snapslikethis:

Just look at all of their faces individually

all i can see is james potter, kingsley shacklebolt, and sirius black high fiving in an ootp meeting 

help

THAT LAST COMMENT

(Source: ddlovoto, via hey-bitch-jerk-assbutt)

theanimejunkie:

bossubossupromode:

Two students, James and John were given a grammar test by their teacher. The question was, “is it better to use “had” or “had had” in this example sentence?”

The teacher collected the tests, and looked over their answers.

James, while John had had “had”, had had “had had.” “Had had” had had a better effect on the teacher.

welcome to the english language

(via determineddisciplineddedicated)

(Source: propunks, via zackisontumblr)

"But I guess ultimately what scares me about marriage is where do you find this person? You know a lot of times, most successful relationships, people meet through work, school, mutual friends. But what’s most interesting to me is when people just meet in life, just randomly. You know, I have a friend, he got married, I asked him like “Hey, uh, where’d you meet your wife?” He was like “I was leaving Bed, Bath & Beyond. I was looking for my car - I drive a gray Prius. I saw a different gray Prius, I thought it was mine, I walked up to it, I realized I had the wrong car, but I bumped into Carol, we started talking, that was that”. That’s unbelievable. Think about all the random factors that had to come together to make this one moment possible - this one moment that changed these two people’s entire lives: First off, this guy has to live in this particular town. Then he has to get a gray Prius. Then he has to need to go to Bed, Bath & Beyond. Then he has to go to that particular Bed, Bath & Beyond. Then there has to be another guy who also lives in town, also drives a gray Prius, also needs to go to Bed, Bath & Beyond, also goes to that particular Bed, Bath & Beyond at around the same time. Then they have to both park somewhat near each other, my friend has to leave before the other guy leaves, see the wrong Prius, think it’s his, walk up to it. Then the woman, Carol, needs to be near the wrong gray Prius for a million other random reasons. They bump into each other, they start talking, their entire lives are changed. That’s the most amazing and terrifying thing about life. It is, cause the amazing thing is that at any moment, any one of us can have that moment that totally changes our lives. You could be leaving the show tonight, bump into someone… it could change your life. You don’t know, that could happen. The terrifying thing is… what if we’re all supposed to be at Bed Bath & Beyond right now?"

Aziz Ansari, Buried Alive (via feellng)

(via monstersand-music)

  • me: I should go shower now
  • (five minutes later)
  • (another five minutes later)
  • (yet another five minutes later)
  • (more five minute intervals)
  • someone: (goes into the bathroom)
  • me: wow fuck you I was JUST about to go take a shower